Gestation - it is just a number

This is how i am feeling more and more each day. People seem to focus on the number so much that they fail to see the actual child that is the barer of that number. It seems that a baby born at 35 weeks surely isn't as sick as a baby born at 25 weeks. While that may be the case in a lot of scenarios it isn't always true and the baby that is born closer to term shouldn't be dismissed, nor should their fight be pushed aside as not as important.

Plenty of times i have heard that Riley was so close to being term, she was born at 33 weeks and honestly since when did 7 weeks early come so close to being term. That is 7 weeks she missed out on purely growing, she had to survive and do all the things that she wasn't meant to be doing. That 7 weeks puts her at risk of things that may not show up now but could very well show up in the future. Whilst we worry about all the germs and consciously stay away from places, other people don't have those worries. The likelihood of their little one ending up in hospital with a cold is quite low, for us it is a reality that we may just face this winter.

Apparently she wasn't premature enough to be considered a premmie, and people don't understand why on earth she would need steroids - she wasn't premmie she was just a bit early!

Big premmie babies don't get serious infections...this is something that bothers me as well. Why did they think and test Ethan for N.E.C if "big" babies don't get it? Why did they think Riley had sepsis if "big" babies don't get infections?

SO.....if she wasn't premmie then why did she need CPAP, why did she stop breathing right after birth and need some assistance to get her going again. Why did she not know how to feed, or maintain her temp? Why did she need to stay in hospital for 3 weeks?

I honestly do not think that people understand how hurtful it can be to parents, when you make them feel that their childs struggles aren't important. Each parent and each child suffers through different issues during their NICU journey. Sure, my child may not be as sick as someone elses but you know what, that is MY child. I can worry and be concerned about what i want and no one has the right to say that my worry isn't worthy.

So please be mindful of others when you make comments - their child may have only been in hospital for 2/3/4 weeks and not months but you know what that was hard for them, they still left without their child and they still had fears and concerns. Everyone needs to respect everyones history and understand that it is NEVER easy to leave your child, no matter what!